No relationship is perfect but a relationship and if at all a good one is supposed to make you feel secured, happy, respected and have some level of freedom.
On the other side of the coin however, are toxic relationships. Toxic relationships are relationships that are characterized by behaviors from a toxic partner or from the both of them.
These behaviors are emotionally and physically damaging to the abused partner. Relationships are supposed to contribute to our self-esteem and also boost our energy emotionally, toxic relationships damage self-esteem and drains individual emotionally. A toxic relationship is an unsafe place and very dysfunctional.
Sometimes, Toxicity is usually difficult to identify in relationships as it is also characterized by gas lighting, blames and games. This means that the we many not even know that we are in such relationships but if you feel consistently drained or unhappy when you spend time with your partner that I believe should be a red flag and that thigs need to change.
Here are some of the signs that will help you identify a toxic relationship:
1. ALL TAKE AND NO GIVE; Any relationship you feel or experience withdrawals of energy when you are giving so much energy and putting a lot of energy into is a red flag.
2. LACK OF TRUST; A relationship without trust is like a car without gas you cannot move with it.
3. HOSTILE ATMOSPHERE; Constant anger is a clear sign of a toxic relationship. A bold bill board that screams toxicity.
4. RESENTMENT; Holding on to grudges instead of forgiving chips away relationships.
5. LACK OF SELF CARE; Withdrawing from your hobbies because of the issues you keep having in your relationships are signs of a toxic relationship. Neglecting your health and sacrificing your free time included.
6. WALKING ON EGG SHELLS; You always worry that your actions and words may bring up problems and so to avoid problems you keep issues to yourself.
7. DISHONESTY; You find yourself making up lies about your decisions, the people you meet up with and your whereabouts to avoid meeting up with them then you should take a pause and THINK.
Many people assume that once in a toxic relationship it should end but that isn’t always the case. The individuals in the relationship should want a change and put in effort to make the relationship work by:
1. SHOWING WILLINGNESS TO INVEST; Emphasis on the willingness. Both partners should be open and willing to invest in the relationship to make it work. This can be done by deepening conversations and spending quality time together.
2. SHIFT FROM BLAMING TO UNDERSTANDING: If conversations can move from blaming and steering towards understanding and learning.
3. OPENESS TO HELP FROM OUTSIDE; Couples might need help to get things back on track through counselling.
Repairing a toxic relationship will take time, patience and diligence.
AASA PRESS UI 